Toy Soldiers
by Momentary Dead King
Summary: Part 2 to "Hold On" "It’s sad how much a person can change when their lover is not there with them." Amy thinks about faith. How unfaithful she's been with a certain Canadian. She thinks about how loneliness can change a person. One ShotSong Fic


Toy Soliders

By: Momentary Dead King

Disclaimer(s): I don't own the wrestlers. Vince does. The wrestlers who play their characters own themselves. I just write about them.

The song "Toy Soldiers" is sung by Martika & I don't own it, so don't sue me!

A.N.: This Fic is basically part two to my last Song Fic, "Hold On". You'll have to read "Hold On" to understand this Fic. This is Amy's (Lita) side of the story.

*……..* Song Lyrics

~……~ Thoughts

~~~~~~

**_*_****_ Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers*_**

****

All this time has past, and still don't have the courage to end this illicit relationship. This should've ended last year, but I can't say it. Because I like it. I don't love him, I love Matt, but I can't stop. The worst part of it is that I was the one who started it.

**_*_****_ It wasn't my intention to mislead you  
It never should have been this way  
What can I say  
It's true I did extent the invitation*_**

****

After I had my surgery, I had a lot of visitors. One of them was Chris Irvine, better known as Chris Jericho. He has a heart of gold, hot as Hell, and an awesome sense of humor. I invited him out to dinner one night. Matt wasn't there.

**_*_****_ I never knew how long you'd stay  
When you hear temptation call  
It's your heart that takes, takes a fall  
Won't you come out and play with me*_**

He had fun. We got drunk. What do you think happened next. That's right, we had sex. I thought it was just a one night thing, but then, he called me again. Said he wanted to go out with me again on one of his free nights. I asked him about the last time that happened. His response: "What Matt doesn't know won't hurt him." And that was the beginning of it all.

**_*_****_ Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit torn apart We never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers*_**

****

I couldn't stop. I loved it. For the past year and a half, I've been alone. Matt rarely calls or visits. I hated to be alone, yet Chris would fly to North Carolina every chance he got. For the first time in that year and a half, I felt wanted. Loved. As time passed, I felt as if I was just there. For his enjoyment, not mine. My wake up call happened when Matt made a surprise visit a couple of weeks ago.

**_*_****_ It's getting hard to wake up in the morning  
My head is spinning constantly  
How can it be  
How could I be so blind to this addiction*_****__**

I hugged Matt like there was no tomorrow. I felt so right as I held him and he held me back. "So, did you miss me?" "Of course!" Matt sat down on my couch and looked off. I knew something was wrong right there and then. Matt never held back what he was thinking. That's what I liked about Matt. He always expressed himself.

**_*_****_ If I don't stop the next one's gonna be me  
Only emptiness remains  
It replaces all, all the pain  
Won't you come out and play with me*_**

"I've been hearing a lot of rumors about you." "Yeah, so? I'm coming back in a couple of weeks." "It's not that, Amy. I've been hearing that you've been seen with other men." ~_Oh Shit.~_ "What?" I said calmly, trying hard not to over-react. "Who's 'They'" I asked. "Just some of the wrestlers on 'SmackDown!'" "I don't know what these people are saying, but why would they say something like that?" I asked innocently. "Maybe………because it's true." Matt replied grimly. I looked away in disgust and with tears in my eyes. "I can't believe you believe them." I said quietly.  Matt looks my way and then comes over to sit next to me. He hugs me, saying "No. I don't believe them. I've known you for too long. I love you." I smile and thanked him for believing me. ~_That was too close.~ _It was that moment that to stop everything.

**_*_****_ Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers*_**

To this day, I haven't spoken to Chris about it. Instead, I turned to my music for help. I turned up the radio and it started to play this 80's sounding song. The lyrics spoke to me. A four minute song that told this whole story. I wrote down the lyrics as the song played. I looked at them. This is my letter to Chris. This song is the only way to explain myself to him.

**_*_****_ Bit by bit torn apart We never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers*_**

It's sad how much a person can change when their lover is not there with them. I became someone I'm not, just because Matt was living his dream, and I was stuck home. Part of it was loneliness. Part of it was Jealousy. I'm determined not to become that woman again. It's hard to fight temptation, but I'm willing to do so in order to keep Matt. He cares, not about the body, but the woman inside. I won't lose. I refuse to lose love

**_*_****_ Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers*_****__**


End file.
